Life As We Know It

Let's do this thing differently...

A lot of people are doing posts on things that they're thankful for.  I've thought about doing that, but then I felt like I'd kind of just be reiterating what they wrote.  I'm thankful for so many people and things in my life.  Many of the same things that others are writing about. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm not ungrateful and I know today is a day of "thanks."  But, given some recent events, I'd like to take a "different" approach to this.

What I am *NOT* thankful for:
My husbands ability to act like an immature 14 year old at the most inopportune moments. 

See examples below:

• He smells Porter has pooped.  He immaturely states "I got nasty one this morning.  This one is yours"  As I am busy putting clothes away and getting in the shower.  So he makes Porter sit in his poop while I shower and begin to dry my hair.  While HE sits on his butt watching tv.  And then he throws the diaper at me as I walk out the bathroom door.  The diaper he's had in his hand for half an hour.

• I ask him if he knows if my white bra is downstairs hanging up.  He answers in a voice most commonly reserved for 14 year old attitudinal girls "I don't knooooow!"

• He's laying on the floor "playing" with Porter.  He grabs a truck that he KNOWS will make Porter scream and beg and grab for it.  Porter does as expected.  Ryan totally ignores him, and keeps egging him on by driving the truck back and forth in front of him as he kicks and whines and tries to grab it.  Instead of acting like an adult and explaining to him that he CAN NOT act like that and if he wants to play with it he needs to stop throwing a fit and ask nicely.  Nope, 14 year olds don't think that way.  He likes to egg him on, acting like a child himself. 

• I get up with Porter every stinking morning of the week (weekends we usually split up the days).  Tomorrow I have to get up early, so this morning I ask him to take today and I'd let him sleep in tomorrow.  He whines and rudely (in that 14 year old attitudinal voice) that "You get to sleep in EVERY day!"  Well buddy, you normally get up at 5am.  So, now that it is 7:30am, technically you DID just sleep in.  He took the "you get to sleep in tomorrow" bait and did let me sleep till 8:45. 

• I get up from my hours sleep in (let me explain to you... when HE sleeps in... its till 10 or 11am) and I find Porter eating a graham cracker and those packaged orange cheese crackers.  He said he gave him a slice of cinnamon bread. Isn't that breakfast?

• He still doesn't "get it" that Porter picks up on EVERYTHING we say and do.  So the fact that he hasn't learned that parenting skill doesn't prevent him from saying things like "Look at the sexy mama!" in front of Porter.  Nice.  Just what I want my almost-2 year old saying... sexy.  And knowing how to use the word. 

This is all just this morning.  Isn't that nice? 

Good Lord I am NOT your mother.  I am your WIFE.  Start treating me that way and start acting like an adult... a husband... a father.  I guess it is true that "Men mature much slower than women."  I guess I'll just have to do what's best when dealing with children... lead by example.  Hopefully by Baby #2's arrival he'll pick up on some mature parenting skills and have grown up a bit by then. 

**Disclaimer** Those of you who do not know my husband.. he is a great guy.  He's a wonderful father and a wonderful husband.  I love him to death and most of the time wouldn't trade him for a million dollars.  This is just one of his horrible traits that I am extremely irritated with today and would like to Not Give Thanks to it. Those of you who do know my husband... I'm sure you get exactly what I'm talking about.

Diaper Issues

If its not one thing, its another.  Well, this time we're having TWO different diaper issues.

Issue #1:  Naptime.  Porter has begun to think its quite amusing to dink around in his crib at naptime, throw all his animals out, take off his pants and diaper.  I can usually tell when this happens as he'll become extremely loud, banging on the crib, yelling and running in the crib. Yes, maniac indeed.  Usually I just go back in and he asks for his diaper and pants, which I put back on, and that is the end.  Well, yesterday he took off his stuff twice.  So, today this was my solution:

Yes, that is electrical tape on his diaper.  We didn't have duct tape.  Yes, I made him stand there and post for me.  Poor kid.  Well, he is sleeping finally and his diaper is STILL on.

Issue #2:  Bedtime.  For the last oh, 6 months or so (maybe more, maybe less) we've had problems with Porter leaking through diapers at night.  For awhile I summed it up to us giving him a cup of water in bed, and once we quit that *most* of the leaked through diapers stopped. 

During the day we use cheap diapers- Luvs or Target Brand.  At night we were using Huggies, which worked fine up until a few weeks ago.  We stopped the night water, and he was still waking up with soaked pj's in the morning. 

So, we tried Pampers and those were working fine.  Up until this week.  Three days in a row he's woken up at 5:30-6:30am yelling "Mooo-mmeeeeeeyy! Mommy! Moooo-mmmeeeeeyy! Messy! Messy Mommy!"

He doesn't get water at night.  He doesn't drink an excessive amount of liquid before bed.  Last night we had dinner at 6, he drank a cup of milk.  He went to bed at 7.  I can't imagine stopping his liquids BEFORE dinner (granted, most of the time we try to have dinner at 5/5:30 but that doesn't always happen). 

So, any suggestions?!?  I'm at a loss, and short of waking him up before we go to bed to change his diaper (bleh!) I don't know what to do!

Obsessive Compulsive Boy

Its been a productive day for me so far..

• Did a load of dishes
• Called New York Life Ins. and set up an appt. for next week to get life insurance
• Took Porter in for his second round of flu shot (which I didn't realize was TODAY until... today!)

When we went to the doctor's office, Porter was playing with the trucks in the waiting room.  We went back and he got his shot (which he took like a champ!) and then on our way out he ran over to the toys saying "Bye bye truck!" and began his rounds of giving the trucks a kiss goodbye.  I tried to hurry him out the door, but he began picking up all the trucks.  "Mama, truck awaaaaay?" (meaning, "Mama, I'm putting the trucks away????")  So, I waited patiently while he picked up about 6 of the toys that were laying around the waiting room and put them in the toy box. I heard a mom behind me say to her daughter, "See, look at what a good job that little boy is doing!" 

When he finished, we turned to walk out and I caught the moms eye and she was saying to her daughters "Did you see what a good job he did?"  Oh man. I was thinking "What a freak child I have!  HAHA!  Who VOLUNTARILY picks up toys that other kids had gotten out before him?"    So I just looked her way and said "Well, let's hope he keeps this up for awhile heh. heh. heh."  Yikes, show off kid! 

Its funny, though, because he'll do things like that.  Usually its at the worst time, like when we're going out the door or getting ready for bed.  He'll find something that HAS to be put away.  Like a tissue on the floor.  Or some random toy that has been lying around but it just *needs* to be put away.  And how can I argue with that?  Voluntary toy clean up?  HAHA!

Spin and Run! Spin and Run! Spin and.... Bonk!

Here is Wild Man himself.  Sunday morning he was wound up... I have no idea what got into him.  All morning he was go, go, go and was running and spinning and hollering and laughing and cracking himself (and us) up.  Here's a little video... be sure to watch to the end.  I promise you, he was totally fine after "Mama Kiss Head" and "Dada Kiss Head".  Two seconds later... it was ... "SPIN!  Pata Spin!!"

Is it horrible that I crack up EVERY time I watch this?  HAHAHAHA!

Sicko update

I went to the doctor this morning and he put me on an antibiotic.  No flu, no strep throat.  I guess he never really did say what I had.  Who knows.  I just hope the meds kick in and I start feeling better soon.  He wanted me to take tomorrow off of work and take it easy, especially because I'm pregnant.  Can't complain about that (well, my paycheck will.... I wont' have any hours for this week!  eww!). 

Porter has had a raspy cough and a stuffy nose for the past week.  Tonight I decided to take another shower and just soak in the steam so I let him shower with me.  He loves taking showers, and I actually enjoy that time with him too (does that make me weird?!?).  Its the only time he really SITS STILL in one spot.  He just hangs out in the tub, sits down and plays with his toys while the water runs over him.  He'll make his way to the water spout to fill up his cup, and then back to "his side" of the tub to play.  The steam from the shower really helped my chest (for awhile, at least... its starting to feel congested again!), and I hope that it helped Porter's chest a little as well.  Maybe he'll sleep better tonight after playing in the steam. 

Porter has been CRACKING me up lately.  He is a wild man, I tell ya.  He talks up a storm and is putting together short sentences, although not always in order.   The other day he wiped his nose on my shirt and said something like "Wipe shirt mama" or something... (ok, he's not a maniac... he was only trying to do that b/c the night before he was up with a horrible stuffy, runny nose and crying and upset and I was consoling him and just let him wipe his nose on my night shirt).

He has been pretending to be No Feet from Little Bear.   For those of you who don't watch... No Feet is the snake.  Fitting name, eh?  He's the only animal on the show that has an actual name that isn't his animal name (ie... Hen, Cat, Owl, Little Bear and.... No Feet).  Porter will crawl around and say "Porter No Feet!"  Here is Ryan and Porter crawling like No feet to the bathroom....  Crazy guys. 

Well, I'm off to go upstairs and veg out on the couch with a bowl of ice cream.

I think I'm dying

Oh my word.  Shoot me now.  Because I feel like I was run over by a Mack Truck.

Now, I'm not normally one to complain about being sick too much... I can handle a sore throat.  I can handle a stuffy nose.  The only time I really call into work is when I'm barfing sick. 

Well, this time I've been hit with something horrible. 

• Stuffy nose that started the other day... totally bearable
• Achy shoulders, neck, arms, legs... UGH
• Ears hurt....
• Throat hurts.  And I mean, like... it feels like someone has taken a serrated knife and just jabbed it all down the front of my throat.  I woke up in the middle of the night and thought my throat was going to cave in. 
• Cough cough cough
• Raspy voice
• Took a hot, steamy shower this morning and got nauseous and threw up.

Diagnosis: I'm dying.  Ok, well, maybe not, but its enough that I called in today (totally unheard of for me when I have "just a cold") and I am canceling my session this afternoon (can't be getting those maternity clients sick!).  I have a doctor's appointment at 11am.  I've never had strep throat before, and I'm assuming that maybe this is what it feels like?  I have no clue.  And, I didn't get my flu shot yet, so maybe its that.

Thank goodness my mom was watching Porter today so I dropped him off down there to play for the morning while I lay around here at home and hack my germs all over everything. 

Ok, I'm off to bed until my appointment. 

Thanksgiving, Schmanksgiving

What is it about this holiday, this holiday that we're supposed to be giving THANKS for all the wonderful things in our lives, that makes me just despise it altogether?  (No, Zoe, its not because that Columbus really was a dirty b@stard... but, I still haven't pieced together why this holiday really is a sham).  Every year its always the same... trying to work out schedules and places and people and food and trying to make everyone happy and ultimately trying to force ourselves to enjoy this day of "thanks". 

Normally, we split this holiday up between Ryan's family and my mom's side of the family.  Yes, that means we eat two of the same meals and normally they're only a few hours apart (the earliest being ready by 1pm, the next being served at 4/5ish).  Its rush rush rush.  Hi, stuff your face, goodbye see ya later!

I hate cramming it all in.  Every time we just get comfortable and having fun with one side of the family, its time to pack it up and head over to another meal. 

This year Ryan and I had a good long talk about it all and decided to change things up.  See, *ideally* we would have sold our house by now.  *Ideally* we'd be in a larger home and *ideally* we'd be the ones serving dinner and inviting both sides of our family over, as well as some close friends who may want to join, and having a big, 'ol "Thanks-for-all-the-great-things-in-our-life" meal.  But, of course we're still stuck in our tiny little house so that means yet another year of swap, chow, swap. 

So, our big discussion.  We decided that the only way to make this a happy holiday for US would be to only have one place to go.  We decided to do every other year with each of our families, that is, until we have a larger home and then we're going to start our own tradition of us being the ones serving Thanksgiving dinner.  I know our decision hasn't made everyone happy, but its a small price to pay to make it bearable for us. 

Now, I guess what my post is about.... I just wonder if there are any other neat ideas that your families do for Thanksgiving that make the holidays easier and less-rushing on your family.  Do you visit each side of the family on the same day?  Do you split it up into two days? Heather had suggested doing the meal (a late lunch) with one side of the family and then joining the other side later in the evening for dessert.   ((I do like that idea, however, this year we'll have dinner with my mom.  And the entire day after T-day we spend with Ryan's family regardless of who we spend T-day with, it seems silly to drive across town for a late evening desert and then drive back out the next morning.))

So, back to the question... what "schedules" have you made up?  Have you come up with a kick-ass plan that makes EVERYONE happy?  Share it, will ya!

Thursday and Friday: Anniversary and Parade

Well, I was too busy yesterday to update, and last night I was too tired. 

Thursday was our anniversary... 4 years!  Really, it seems like we've been married longer than that.  When I counted out the years (yeah, I had to count to make sure that was right) I thought it had been at least 5 years.  Probably because next month will mark the 10 year anniversary from when we started dating.  THAT seems like a long time.

Anyhow, Ryan had class Thursday night but he did get out early.  I had made walnut brownies, bought ice cream, hot fudge, whipped cream and planned for a scrumptious Outback Chocolate Thunder-From-Home snack while we watched a movie.  Ryan put Porter to bed and then we ate Dijorno pizza while we watched Til' Death until our movie came on Pay Per View.  Then we watched Knocked Up while chowing on ice cream sundaes.  YUM!  The movie was pretty funny.  It had way more f-bombs than I cared for, but for a "dumb funny" movie it was pretty funny.

Last night we went to the Christmas Parade downtown.  We planned to meet Leslie and Reyna in front of the library and, while we were late (because we couldn't get onto the other side of Michigan Ave to park where we had planned... we had to walk longer) we ended up not finding her because they ran into the same problem we had and got stuck on the south side of Michigan Ave. 

We still had a great time, though.  We walked a few blocks to see a cement mixer that was blocking one of the crossroads and actually ran into Barbie, Simon and Cannen Hodgson.  We watched the parade with them.  I think Porter was more fascinated with the trucks and the trailers they were pulling (the trailers being the decorated float part) than the lights, decorations and music.  He did like the marching bands... about 5 or so (maybe more) schools had their bands in the parade playing Christmas music.  Here are a few pics:

(they really were having a good time.  I think the po'd look on Ryan's face is because *GASP* I wanted to take a PICTURE!  Oh my God!!!)

This next one was crazy.  Those 4 baskets are hot air balloon baskets... and they were spitting their fire-air into the sky.  It was pretty cool, and was warm as they went by but I was kind of freaked something was going to catch on fire.  And, then they came up to a stoplight and one guy kept blowing the fire on his basket.  Luckily, the other people on the float got his attention and he stopped just in time to NOT burn up the power cord and stoplight!

Elvis... or.... King Kong trying to eat Elvis' face?

Ryan and Porter running through the leaves on the library lawn.

The best bread EVER!

Guess what I just put in the oven?

Amish Friendship Bread.

When I was in high school, my dad had this starter mix and I made it.  My friends laughed at me when I told them the batter sat on my counter for 10 days before we baked it. But, no one complained when I shared with them LOL!   It is delicious!

Anyhow, 10 days ago my mom brought me a bag of starter and I was SO excited to make this bread.  I waited my 10 days, mashing the bag, letting the air out, and now it is time.  I feel like the Little Red Hen.

So, as the directions go, at the end of the 10 days you measure out 4 new starter bags, keep one and give three away to friends.  (email me if you live in town and want a bag!)

For those of you who live far away, from what I found online, here is how to make your own starter mix:

• 1 (.25 ounce) package active dry yeast
• 1/4 cup warm water
• 1 cup flour
• 1 cup milk
• 1 cup sugar

Dissolve yeast in the water.  Pour all ingredients in a gallon sized ziploc bag.  This is Day 1 of your recipe. 

I'm going to attempt uploading a Word document from my computer... Here is the recipe:

Download amish_friendship_bread.doc  

(Note: there are many variations of this recipe online. Some don't use the pudding in the mix.  Some don't use the cinnamon/sugar on top of the bread.  IMO, those things are a must have... they just add that extra special touch.)

Sweet mother of God...

I just ate three, yes THREE, corndogs. 

And I still feel hungry.