Life As We Know It

Smells like.... rotten meat

I blamed it on my pregnancy Super Sense of Smell, but I should have known there was something.... fishy.... when I walked in the house this morning. 

First off, our morning started out rough.  Leak in the bathroom, not sure if its under the sink or the shower piping.  Either way, its scoring me a new ceramic floor, new wider cabinet and sink, and new vanity mirror.  I'm happy.  Ryan is not. 

So, I walk in the house from Menards (went to pick up tile) and it stunk.  I changed the garbages, let the dogs out, washed the towels that were soaked from the bathroom floor, and swept the landing by the back door (where the dogs come in and out).

I went to make Porter lunch and remembered I needed to get a loaf of bread from the deep freezer in teh basement. Opened it up, stuck my head in and, as I did so, I wondered... why does the bread look... not frozen.  Well, once I touched it and took a whiff, I realized WHY.  The freezer was totally unfrozen.  And we had lots of rotten meat fermenting in there.  SICK. 

I slammed it shut and ran upstairs gagging.  Luckily it was a nice enough day that I could open all the doors and windows and air the house out (it was still chilly though).

Ryan just got home from work. Porter hasn't napped so he's a maniac.  The neighbor came down to help Ryan bring the freezer upstairs and as he was pushing the dolly up (Ry was at the top pulling the dolly), Dave flipped the freezer lid open right in his face. HAHAAH!  Poor guy!

Anyhow... thats going to be our weekend.  Tearing up the bathroom and trying to fix the leak and de-smellify our deep freezer.

So, there goes Day #2 of NaBloPoMo!

A couple TFT's for you... on Friday

Its been a busy day... Maria's wedding is tomorrow so tonight we had rehearsal and dinner.  This is going to be a crazy busy weekend.  Sunday we're going to Plymouth Orchards with Lori, Don and the girls and will spend the day with them.  I'm so excited about this weekend.

Anyhow... my TFT.  I have two.  I'll do two different posts. 

Tantrums: revisited
Ok, let me first start off by saying OH MY WORD is Porter the product of Ryan and Nicole Barczak.  That child definitely has our tempers.  While I'd like to say I tend to have a little more patience with frustrating situations, I will be the first to admit that I can fly off the handle and be hot headed with the best of them.   And, well, lets just say Porter has started to show these signs too.

I'll take you back to the other day.  I was going to the bathroom and Porter comes in with his cup that had OJ in it.  "Mo Juuuce mama" he says to me.  I say calmly to him (to try to make my point clear) "Mommy is going potty.  When I'm all done I'll get you some water."

That was not good enough, apparently.  I saw the steam building in his head.  He threw his cup down, started whining and let out a shrill screech.  Huffing and puffing, he began looking around the bathroom and his eyes locked on his potty seat.  I saw where this was going.  He bends down, huffing and half-screaming, grabs the potty seat and picks it up to upturn it.  I lean over (we have a tiny bathroom... oh and by the way I'm sure you can guess I was taking a crap, since I was sitting there so long), and swat his butt and say "NO! You do NOT throw your potty.  Sit down RIGHT THERE by the bathtub and chill out."  He sits down (very angrily, though) kicking his legs and tantruming, and lays down face first into the bathroom floor crying.

He finally chills out a little and I tell him to come over to me and I try to explain that I understand that he's so angry and mad at me that I couldn't refill his cup right now, but he can't start throwing things.  I re-explained that I'd get him more water when I was done.

These types of rage-tantrums have begun recently, and they're getting more frequent.  I know he's just expressing his anger but I'm not sure how to make it clear to him that expressing it by throwing things is not right, or how to let him know "what" those "feelings" are... kwim? I know he FEELS mad and angry, and he doesn't know how to deal with it.  How do you get through to a 19 month old, and how do you explain to them how to deal with being angry like that?   

Sometimes if he's acting like that over something simple I send him to his room to chill out.  Well, like this morning for example.  He had a Nutri Grain bar for breakfast.  He wanted some cereal.  I gave him some Life in a cup, but no he wanted Lucky Charms.  I told him no.  Whining and fussing, he kept running to the pantry.  I put his cup of cereal on the coffee table and he paced the kitchen a bit, attempting to sit and kick his legs a little.  He ran out to the living room and I saw that he was going to grab the cup and throw it.  I cut him off and in my mean man voice told him "You had better NOT throw that cereal!!!" He threw himself down and started crying and whining.  I told him to go sit in his room until he was done.  He did, and not even 2 minutes later he was fine and playing with his trains. 

So, what do I do when he does this throwing stuff act?  I know he needs to be punished, but I want the lesson to be deeper than that.  I want him to not just learn that thats unacceptable, but to learn how to handle the anger too... I want to teach him how to say "Mommy I'm so ANGRY right now!" not just run off and throw whatever is in his way.

What do I do!!!  And, along with that, please tell me my kid is not the only one year old having these throwing-things-when-mad episodes!!

feeling like... crap.

Oh my word I swear I'm dying. 

My throat hurts.

Its scratchy.

Its phlegm-y.

My nose is stuffy.

My neck and body aches.

I keep "fake" coughing to clear my throat.

YUCK. 

And, it seems like everyone I talk to is feeling the same way.  Niiiice.  Something is definitely going around. 

Can I ever quit posting about being so crabby?

Last night I went to bed with this weird throat lump pain.  I felt like I had an earache and a sore throat and a lump in my throat that hurts every time I swallow.  I probably have throat cancer like Jess* or maybe one of the gazillion crickets that loom around my house has crawled into my ear or throat and burrowed in.  Sick.

Anyhow, I called dibs on sleeping in this morning, seeing that Ryan and Ryan were staying the night in Ann Arbor/Dearborn after the game tonight (Ryan M's plane leaves early in the a.m. so MyRy is going to take him to the airport) and I'd be getting up with P tomorrow morning.  (we have this agreement that each of us gets to sleep in one morning a weekend).  I heard Porter up at 7am, and kicked Ryan out of bed to get up with him.  My throat still hurt.

I got out of bed around 8:30, felt sick and gassy from the tacos we ate last night and walked downstairs to see dog-barf at the bottom of the basement stairs.  Porter was whining at my leg... ALREADY.... and my throat still hurt.  I made breakfast (thats about as domestic as I get), and I'm sure Ryan Morrison was thinking my poor husband has a wench of a wife to wake up to every morning... I was THAT crabby.  Bitching about feeding the dogs, about the garbage bags that were piling up on our front porch, etc etc... the list goes on. 

Anyhow, the guy left and Porter continued to ride my last nerve.  I snapped at him quite a few times and then felt horrible.  He finally drove me insane and I put him in bed at 11am and told him to sit in there and whine by himself while I dried my hair in peace.  I finished drying my hair and went to get him out of bed and found this...

He must have been tired. I contemplated waking him up, but then wondered if he'd take a proper nap in the afternoon.  I figured if he was tired enough to fall asleep in less than 10 minute, he must need a nap right now.  So, hopefully he sleeps for a good 2 to 3 hours, or else I'll be in for a hell of an evening. 

I have a session this afternoon at 4, and then I'm babysitting Aubri (Aa-bree-uh, as Porter says) this evening.  Hopefully Porter will be entertained by her enough to be happy for the evening.

Anyhow, thats enough of my bitching for now.  I have some sessions to continue working on... clients are waaaaiiiting for their galleries and I've been beyond slow.

*Ok, Jess does NOT have throat cancer, but if you ask her, she'd tell you every pain in her body is cancer or a tumor or something HAhAHA!  Its a little joke we always laugh about.  So, Jess... is it possible for you to pass on your throat pain to me up here in MI?  Cause my throat freaking hurts. 

Its been one of THOSE days.

I went to bed with a headache/migraine last night, hoping to sleep it off. 

Slept like crap.

So did Porter... he woke up at 5:30, 6:30 and never went back to bed.  I finally got him out of bed at 7:30.

I woke up numerous times during the night, still with a headache. 

Late getting out of the house this morning.

House was trashed... I made the comment to Porter "I'll have to clean up when I get home"

Almost forgot to put the roast in the crock pot.

Left the dogs outside.

Late for work.

I get a call from the realtor (while I'm at work, mind you).... "We want to show your house at 10am today" 

"WHAATTTT? My house is a PIT, I kid you not, a PIT... it looks like a tornado blew through.  I just started back to work and am trying to readjust to getting out of the house in a timely fashion with an 18 month old hanging on my leg."

Real Estate Co:  "Well, I think they might be out of town, but I can see if they can do another time"

Me: "PLEASE!  If I could just come home and clean, they can come anytime tonight after 4"

I get a call back...

REC: "They're from out of town, and I explained your house...uhm...situation.... and they said they honestly don't mind."

Me:  " OH MY WORD OH MY WORD OH MY WORD I can't believe I'm going to tell you ok... show it.  OH MY WORD I'm so embarrassed!!"

So, I came home, haven't heard anything (I'm expecting our realtor will be asking what the hell was up with your house!!), and I of course had to take pictures for you guys.

As they walk in... the glamorous us entry way, littered with spare diapers, extra change of clothes and plastic zebra.

Turn to the Master and check out the wife's wardrobe littering every inch of the room... note the unmade bed, mismatched sheets and super mama bras on the bed...

Back out to the living room... toys and shoes litter the floor.  Laptop is leaned up against the chair to "cool off".  Poor Tad the Leapfrog is just chillin' out waiting for... someone to pick him the frick up.

The playroom is, well.... played in.

The kitchen... OH MY HEAVENS THE KITCHEN!!! It needs all the help it can get in the first place... let alone I leave it looking like this:

Smelly crock pot of roast and french onion soup on the counter (which probably saved us and masked the dog smell HAHAH!), sink full of clean AND dirty dishes, Porter's cereal bowl on the counter... with soggy cereal in it.  Ry left the toaster out this morning.  Ledge above sink littered with random toys and cups.  UGH!

Kitchen table and cupboard... aka "Catch All".

Note the half opened cabinet door.... yes, it was left that way.  I took out the crock pot in a HURRY. Porter's book that needs to be fixed, a pair of too small tennis shoes.  On the floor, you'll notice my camera bag and some random article of clothing... what IS that?

And the basement... I wouldn't dare show you the stairs with dog hair clumps, or the laundry area which is disgusting.  But... walk into my office... aka "The Pit"... junk in PILES... everywhere!

You can't even see the top of my desk!!

Well, I did just get a call from our Realtor.  They looked at 12 houses, and ours is in the running (Go fricken figure!!).   The wife is pregnant so they're looking to buy soon.  I explained how disgusting our house was and she says "Well, they didn't say it was that bad, in their own words they said it looked "lived in"."  (PFFFTTT!! HAHAH!)

Lived in is an understatement. How about lived in, torn up, thrown around and roughed up?  HAHA!

So, there you have it.  My disgusting house.

Feeling like a bad mommy.

Today I pretty much deserve the "Rotten Mom" award.  Seriously. 

1) totally PMSing

2) stressed with last minute client requests

3) trying to get ready for my road trip

and, throughout all this, Porter is on my ass, getting into everything.  Whining at me, begging me for attention that I wasn't able to give him.  I had things to do.  Lots of things.  I had people pulling me in 5 different directions, and one little guy trying to keep me grounded on earth. 

There was one moment I was in the bathroom, I can't remember what I was doing. Maybe my hair, maybe brushing my teeth.  Yeah, I think it was that.  And Porter of course wanted to brush his teeth, although he'd already done that.  And he was getting into the toilet paper and bothering me and it had been like that ALL. Freaking. Day. 

Is it too much to ask to brush your teeth without someone else hanging on your leg begging for something??

I screamed at him.  I'm not kidding.  One of those "out of control" she's lost her mind screams.

"GET OUT OF HERE!  GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME! GO! GO AND FIND A FREAKING TOY AND PLAY!"

He cowered.  Seriously.  And he slunk away to the living room. 

My heart is breaking right now thinking about this moment.  My heart about broke as I watched him run to the living room. 

I turned around and tried to ignore how out of control I had been.  And then when I was finished in the bathroom, I walked out to see Porter, sitting in the living room in his little rocking chair, waiting quietly for me.  He raises his arms and with a smile on his face says "Hi momma! Hug?"

(choking up now... didn't realize how bad I felt about this all until now)

How incredibly rotten am I?  How incredibly awesome and forgiving is this little boy of mine who I couldn't even take 5 damn minutes to play with this morning?? I spent all day catering to everyone else's' insane requests I blindly pushed aside the one person who needed my attention the most. 

Just call me a piece of crap.  Thats what I am today. 

Not a Thought for Thursday

Sorry to disappoint...  I won't be participating this week.  Thursday totally crept up on me and I've been way overloaded today with last minute client orders/requests and trying to pack for Porter and my trip to St. Louis.  I'll be gone for a week (you bet I'll post while I'm down there... Heather and I are going to get to finally blog/IM from the same room again.. just like old times!!), and as usual, trying to leave a home business for a week is hectic as hell.  I try to make the impact as small as possible on my clients, which in turn puts more work/stress on me and cuts into my vacation enjoyment.  I guess you couldn't really call St. Louis a "vacation" as I'll have 3 sessions while I'm down there... so its pretty much the same ol work week as at home HAHA!

Anyhow... I just wanted to take a moment, post a quick "sorry" to my readers and also to other TFT posters as I probably won't get a chance to comment right away.  Maybe tomorrow... or Saturday.  (or, if the hotel has wi-fi I'll try to post after P is in bed).  I have read all your posts, they're great, and I hope I'll have time soon to comment.

Wish me luck on my road trip with an 18 month old!!

Quote to think about...

Here is a quote I swiped off Ali Edwards' site.  I just thought it was pretty cool- very real.

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.

Attitude, to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company ...a church ...a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.

We cannot change our past ...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.

We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude ...I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you ...we are in charge of our attitudes.

~Charles Swindoll