Life As We Know It

Saturday Naptime Update:

What kind of crap is this!

Ryan puts him in bed and begins to get out his Subway sandwich.

"Don't get too comfy.  He'll be out of bed in a minute."

A minute later, P is knocking on the door.

Ryan puts him in bed, tells him to lay down. Closes the door.

A few minutes later I hear him playing in there.  Ryan checks on him.   

"Lay down!"

Porter lays down.

Ryan closes the door.

We listen to Porter rambling in bed for about 10 minutes and then... quiet.

That was it.  THAT WAS IT!  Are you KIDDING ME?   I spent all week putting that kid back in bed... and he has to replace him once and thats it?

Ok... I'm going with the old saying "I loosened the lid before I had you help me." (like... when you go to open a jar of something and you try and try, hand it to someone else and POP its off easy as pie?).  Today must have just been his "realization" day where he knew what was going to happen if he kept getting out of bed.

Alright, at least thats whats making me feel better about my hellish week and Ryan's single, simple naptime.  GRRR. 

Naptime Nazi

Well, I should update on our naptime situation... with Porter getting out of bed and all.

First day: 1hr 15minutes.  GAH!  This was literally me standing next to his bed and returning him to bed every 2-10 seconds.  Ridiculous. 

Second day: he fell asleep in the car on the way home, so no struggle there.

Third day: 30 minutes!  WOO HOO! Same situation... had to stand by his bed or else I'd be running back and forth from his door to his bed.  He seriously thinks its a funny game.

Fourth day: fell asleep in car.

Fifth day: 24 minutes.  Getting better.  I should mention that I got home from work and was starving so I put him in his room and closed the door for about 20 minutes while I ate lunch and he wreaked holy havoc on his room.  I walked in to his bookshelf half emptied, his ottoman overturned and everything from his bed all over the floor.  We won't be trying the "close the door and let him fall asleep on his own" method. 

Today is Saturday.  Day Six.  Ryan's day to play Naptime Nazi.  Poor unsuspecting guy has no idea what he's in for once he gets back from school.  And he wonders why I'm too exhausted in the afternoons to do anything but sit on my butt and watch tv.  I stand by Dude's bed and do 200 25lb child-lifts!!  HAHA!  My arms should be getting strong.

I should also mention: bedtime is not a struggle at all.  He goes right to bed with no problems.  Probably because its dark and he's just ready for sleep.

I'll fill you in later.  Ry should be home aaaaannnyyy time.

Tonight we have a Halloween Party (my mom is throwing).  Its raining right now... great.  I'll post pics later of our costumes. 

Toothbrush scum.

Maria will like this post.  We just went to Target and a movie and at Target she bought a tooth scraper and mirror like at a dentist office.  Then, in the theater she scraped some scum off her back tooth and made me dig in my bag for a babywipe.

Thats not what this post is about, though.  Although... it seems as my night is revolving around tooth related issues.

So, I am getting ready for bed.  I go to brush my teeth and my freaking toothbrush (silver) is wet.  I thought, "Hmm... maybe I brushed my teeth before the movie" BUT then I touched Ry's toothbrush (blue) and it was dry.  Odd, as I had JUST heard him in there brushing his teeth.

I yell out to him "You used my toothbrush! Why did you use my toothbrush?"

Ry: "No, thats MY toothbrush!  I had the silver one!"

So, we go back and forth a few times, discussing WHY we know the silver one is ours (aka... "I remember thinking 'oh silver! I like silver'.  NOOO... *I* remember thinking 'Blue is a girly color.  THe gray is manly.')

So, who knows how long we've been sharing a toothbrush.

DISGUSTING!!  That just totally grosses me out.  Yes... I know... we're married... we've shared many, uhm, bodily things... but tooth scum?  I just have to draw the line there. 

I almost didn't brush my teeth tonight because I didn't want to use his wet, scum filled toothbrush.  And I couldn't use the blue one (even though I doubt its been used HAHA!) because it wasn't *mine*.

I'm going to buy a new toothbrush tomorrow.  Peace out. 

OH my word, CHILL OUT!

I just found this report on abc7news.com..... apparently some parents are suing Bumbo because they sat their child in the Bumbo seat, ON THE KITCHEN TABLE, the baby arched his back, flipped over backwards and cracked his skull.

While I'll be honest, I did use our Bumbo on the kitchen counter, but I was never more than a foot away from Porter.  Had he even begun to topple/flip out of the seat, I was right there. I never used it on high surfaces once he was mobile enough to flip out of it.  Dinks.

Somehow, I don't believe the video where the dad says "I was sitting RIGHT HERE next to him and he just flipped over backwards."  Well, then, why didn't you grab your falling child if you were right there? 

Sad, yes, that their son required surgery, but it sounds to me like its a case of parent stupidity and now they are overreacting and suing both Bumbo AND Target, because it makes sense to sue the store that sells it, right?  Durrrrr. 

Go to the link and be sure to watch the video... way overhyped. Kind of funny.  It always cracks me up when parents overreact to things.  "DO NOT BUY BUMBO!  MY CHILD ALMOST DIED BECAUSE HE WAS SITTING IN IT!"  No, dinks, your child almost died because you have no common sense. 

I *heart* Bumbo forever!!!

Dear S@ahoo.com

Thank you for your comment, it is appreciated, and thank you for pointing me in the direction of the "ease of use" ratings for car seats.  (I personally would prefer crash test ratings rather than how easy it is to read the labels on my carseat...)

As my post stated, I was asking if anyone had heard anything good/bad about that seat as I knew nothing about it.  Yes, I assumed it was a decent seat as this store carried it (not because I "like" the store, only because they seem to act like "car seat snobs" about what brands they carry... they literally told me they won't carry other brands because "Britax is THE best"...  I don't 100% agree that you have to spend $300 to have a good carseat, but, whatever).

Anyhow, I appreciate your comment, but you'll have to excuse me because your annoying anonymous comment caught me on an extremely bitchy day.  Its not the comment that irritates me, its the lack of identification.  If you have something to say, at least have the balls to write your real name and real email address.

(I know I'll totally have "blog hangover" tomorrow for posting this, but right now it just seems fitting.)

I'd rather bang my head against the wall. Repeatedly.

That is exactly how I feel about trying to take pictures of my own child. 

First, let me recap our afternoon. After Porter's lovely nap boycott attempt (which was successful, let me add), Ry and I took him to the park before dinner to get him out of the house.  Oddly, he was in a pleasant mood, despite not having a nap.  We played at the park (by the way... check out who is super brave!)

and then I figured we'd walk over through Ella Sharp Park and see if I could get any decent pictures of Porter.  Well, let me just say that trying to do a "session" with your own kid just does NOT work.  Porter is numb to every trick I have up my sleeve.  I did get him to copy me standing by this barn, but by the time I stepped back and got ready to take the picture, he was off and running. 

And don't get me started on the eye contact and total bershon*ness.  This kid will NOT look at me whatsoever, and his expression, I swear, you'd think this kid was lacking a brain. 

Let's move on to the husband-help.  Or lack of.  Here is how he worked the session....

I'm like, SERIOUSLY.... I'm killing myself here trying to get this kid to stop looking so walking-comatose.  And Ryan just.... sits.  I give up.  I'm hiring someone (ohh... Jennifer..... *wink wink*). 

You won't believe the number of out of focus pictures I have from our 20 minute jaunt.  I am not sure I even have anything worthy of being larger than a 5x7. Ugh.

Here are the only keepers.

And, here is Porter... about to flop over dead from being so tired.   I was trying to get him to sit on the porch like Ryan, and he'd go to sit, but he'd lay down and just LAY there.  HAHA!