Life As We Know It

Oh. His. Words.

You'll all get a kick out of this.

I'm in a dressing room at Target with Porter, trying on some "real waist" maternity pants as many of my dress pants are getting snug.  (Ugh... only 10 weeks pregnant... WHAT IS UP WITH THAT??).

I start to try on one pair.  Take off my pants.

Porter walks over, and in his loud, sweet voice says "Mama PENIS!"

I about convulse.  I try to hush him. "No.  No Porter... mama doesn't HAVE a penis!  Boys have penises, remember?"

Porter is unfazed.   "Mama Gy-NA!?" 

I nearly gag.   I whisper-yell to him  "Yes. YES Porter.  Mama has a gyna."

OMG.  Thats what I get for being strait up with a one year old. 

And, you'll love this as well.  Last night Ryan turned on a game on tv.  Porter says something that sounds quite close to "Oh Damn!"

We both look at each other... "Uh...."   So, we try to get him to say things that 'might' have been what he was saying.  "Porter... say Oh! Game!"  (nope) "Porter, say Oh! Man!"  (nope)

I say to Ryan..."Hmm... look what he picked up the last time you watched a game with him around...."

And, today we're in the checkout line at Target.  He drops his matchbox Jeep.  "Oh Damn!" 

Thats all I can figure it out to be.  I have no clue. 

NaBloPoMo

**November is National Blog Posting Month!**

What does that mean?  Well, if you're up for the challenge it means you attempt to post every day for the month of November.  A. Post. A. Day.  Not really that hard, if you think about it.  It just takes a little effort.  And, if you really want to get into it, you can visit the NaBloPoMo website and sign up.  I think I might. 

I'll be participating.  Maybe I'll make a link list in my sidebar for those bloggers I know who are going to attempt NaBloPoMo also.  If you're in, let me know in a comment. 

In the meantime... I'm going to start jotting down a list of blogging ideas in case I get stuck.  Which I'm sure will happen. 

The Baker and his oven

Its 10pm and I'm home already.  I was getting tired so I loaded Porter up and brought him home.  Ryan stayed to chit chat and hang out and, luckily my mom lives about 3 blocks down the road so he can just walk home when he's ready.  I thought I'd get a nice, quiet evening to sit and watch tv, but our neighbors are having some kind of party and all I can hear is this annoying repetitive rap music... the beat reminds me of an Eminem song.  "doo doo doo doo, do do do dooo,  dum doo do dooo. doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo, dum do do doooo"  Bleh. All I can hear is the beat.  Annoying. 

Here are our costumes:

And, just in case you don't "get it", wander on over here. 

And Porter was a little lion.  "Raarrrrr!"  He's actually supposed to be Goliath from JoJo's Circus (my niece Aubri is dressing up as JoJo for Halloween... I'm hoping we'll get them together to get some pictures). They do sell an actual Goliath costume but its hideous... one of those "heads growing out of the kids head" type of costume.

I wish I had been creative and thought of a super cute, "unique" costume like I did last year, but I just didn't have the energy to put into it this year.  And I was fresh out of ideas.  I mean, how can you top this cute, feathery little chicken last year?

(Ryan kept saying we should have dressed him as a wolf this year with a few feathers hanging out of his mouth.  Cute, but uh... how are you going to get a one year old to keep a few stray feathers by his mouth? HAAH!)

Anyhow, he's sporting the Old Navy-Made costume this year and I think it looks pretty darn cute on him.

Saturday Naptime Update:

What kind of crap is this!

Ryan puts him in bed and begins to get out his Subway sandwich.

"Don't get too comfy.  He'll be out of bed in a minute."

A minute later, P is knocking on the door.

Ryan puts him in bed, tells him to lay down. Closes the door.

A few minutes later I hear him playing in there.  Ryan checks on him.   

"Lay down!"

Porter lays down.

Ryan closes the door.

We listen to Porter rambling in bed for about 10 minutes and then... quiet.

That was it.  THAT WAS IT!  Are you KIDDING ME?   I spent all week putting that kid back in bed... and he has to replace him once and thats it?

Ok... I'm going with the old saying "I loosened the lid before I had you help me." (like... when you go to open a jar of something and you try and try, hand it to someone else and POP its off easy as pie?).  Today must have just been his "realization" day where he knew what was going to happen if he kept getting out of bed.

Alright, at least thats whats making me feel better about my hellish week and Ryan's single, simple naptime.  GRRR. 

Naptime Nazi

Well, I should update on our naptime situation... with Porter getting out of bed and all.

First day: 1hr 15minutes.  GAH!  This was literally me standing next to his bed and returning him to bed every 2-10 seconds.  Ridiculous. 

Second day: he fell asleep in the car on the way home, so no struggle there.

Third day: 30 minutes!  WOO HOO! Same situation... had to stand by his bed or else I'd be running back and forth from his door to his bed.  He seriously thinks its a funny game.

Fourth day: fell asleep in car.

Fifth day: 24 minutes.  Getting better.  I should mention that I got home from work and was starving so I put him in his room and closed the door for about 20 minutes while I ate lunch and he wreaked holy havoc on his room.  I walked in to his bookshelf half emptied, his ottoman overturned and everything from his bed all over the floor.  We won't be trying the "close the door and let him fall asleep on his own" method. 

Today is Saturday.  Day Six.  Ryan's day to play Naptime Nazi.  Poor unsuspecting guy has no idea what he's in for once he gets back from school.  And he wonders why I'm too exhausted in the afternoons to do anything but sit on my butt and watch tv.  I stand by Dude's bed and do 200 25lb child-lifts!!  HAHA!  My arms should be getting strong.

I should also mention: bedtime is not a struggle at all.  He goes right to bed with no problems.  Probably because its dark and he's just ready for sleep.

I'll fill you in later.  Ry should be home aaaaannnyyy time.

Tonight we have a Halloween Party (my mom is throwing).  Its raining right now... great.  I'll post pics later of our costumes. 

Jen requested a video...

to accompany this post.

Just in case there is any confusion

Here's an addendum to my TFT this week, spurred by Heather's psuedo response (basically copied from my comment, but I felt that maybe I should clear up any confusion here on my blog?)

The gist of my post was that we all have weak times as parents and that its okay to be human and have shitty days where we don't give our all. We can't be our personal best every day of our lives. And when we have those bad days where those types of behaviors are the best that can be mustered up, we shouldn't feel guilty about it and feel like we aren't being as good as so-and-so because they wouldn't dare do something like that with their child. Such as... I do play with my child, but there are days where I just don't have the energy or patience. I feed him healthy foods most of the time, but there are days where we're rushed and he just gets whatever. I talk to him on car rides, we sing songs, we have conversations... but there are days where he's too whiny and its just easiest to put in a movie.

So what if every once in awhile I am slacking in my own personal best as a good mom. So what if every once in awhile I can't be the best mom I should be for my son... we are ALLOWED those slip ups. Yes, we should always be trying to give the best side of ourselves to our children and set good examples for our children, but it is not possible to be and do that 100% of the time. THAT is the guilt we pose upon ourselves that we need to let go of. The guilt that so-and-so does it this way and so-and-so has it together much better than me and why can't I be like that, and why can't I not scream at my child when I'm pushed too far over the edge and why can't I always have a home cooked meal on the table and why can't I be happy with my children every minute of the day? Those things are the things we as mothers need to let go of and not feel guilty about. We all slip up at times, and its okay to do that.

Yes, in the perfect world we'd all be proactive rather than reactive. But, like I said, we have to learn to accept that we are not perfect and be okay with that instead of always trying to be a perfect parent, creating the perfect life for our kids and then feeling like shit when our life isn't perfect.

Other TFT'ers this week...

Check this out! 

Heather S. on toddlers and naptimes
Jess on "babysitting" dads
Heather M. on productive households
Jenny on eating well
Michelle on gender preference
Kristi on dying young
Jenny on organizing kids' bedrooms
Amy on the first year of marriage
Kasey on holiday traditions
Denise on getting pregnant
Ashley on just do it already
Zoe on (???)... I'm at work and can't get to her blog to see her topic LOL!

TFT: Perfect Mom Wanna Be

Jess has been raving about this book for the past week or so.  I'm definitely going to have to check it out after hearing her talk about it.  This is something that I think we all struggle with so much.  We all struggle with the guilt, the frustrations, etc of motherhood and we don't want to admit it because we think it will make us look like a bad mom.

Personally, I know I struggle.  I don't get down on the floor and play with Porter as much as I think I should.  He eats more junk food than he probably should.  I work outside the home and I'm ok with that.  He doesn't know all his colors or the alphabet yet.  I've been known to curse in front of him.  There are times I've been annoyed that I don't have as much free time as I want.  We don't sit down to meals as a family as often as I'd like.  I look at so many other mom's blogs and think "Oh I should/should not be doing that...they're a better mom than I am".  But why?  Why am I beating myself up over these things?

So what if he's playing with his trains by himself because I finally said no when he asked for the 3,242nd time today? So what if he's having cereal for dinner because I was too tired to actually cook. Does that make me a bad mom?  So what if I curse in front of my child every now and then?  Does that somehow make me a horrible person?

I've just started to realize I'm getting caught up in all the "mom judgment" that seems to come along with being a mom.  And, while in the past 20 months of motherhood I've felt the judgment being passed towards me, I know I'm guilty myself of passing it towards others.  I have to stop and realize that we all do what we need to do.  And, no matter what kind of mom I am, what matters the most is that my son knows I love him to the moon and back.  He is well fed, he has a roof over his head, a mom and dad that would do anything for him.  So what if we give in sometimes.  So what if we slip a little and aren't as consistent as we would like to be.  If there is anyone out there that can say they've never done the same, well let me just say I'd like to slap their holier than though faces and call a *BULLSHIT* on them.  No one is perfect.  I'm not.  You're not.  So, why pretend.  Why TRY to pretend?  Why get wrapped up in trying to perfect ourselves... it'll never happen. 

I've decided this....  there will be no more trying to keep up with the Jones'.  No more letting the way other people lead their lives somehow make me feel like less of a good mom.

"Hi there. I'm Nicole. I have a sink full of dirty dishes most days of the week. I don't always care to play out in the yard with my son.  Sometimes, he goes for days without taking a bath because, honestly, I really bath time.  Teeth brushing... well, there are many mornings I'm just too rushed to care and I let him do it himself even though I know he doesn't do it well enough. My husband and I are guilty of arguing in front of him.  Yesterday, he had Nilla Wafers for lunch.  I'm not the least bit interested in potty training him anytime soon. Today, he asked me to "play train tracks" with him and I declined and distracted him with a Little Bear show so I could blog.  I have been known to cuss in front of him, and worse... I've cussed at him.  There have been days I've flat out yelled at him over simple little things because I was at the end of my rope.  I've spanked him.  I let him watch too much tv, even in the car because it keeps him quiet on car rides... even short ones to Target or the sitters.  But, you know what... thats me.  Like it or not.  I love my son, and even though there are days I pretty much suck as a mom, thats how it is."

So... my Thoughts for Thursday is simple.  Who are YOU?  What are YOUR weaknesses?

Sick day and barely caught up

For the past week Porter has had a simple cough.  No phlegm, no runny nose.  Just a cough.  This weekend it turned for the worse, he began waking up choking on phlegm, stuffy nose... the works.  Last night was rough... he was up numerous times and just not feeling well.  He was burning up as well.  Ryan and I were cracking eachother up because we were totally catering to Porter's every whim.  Its so tough when your child isn't feeling well.  I just feel awful.  He'd ask for "waber" so we'd get him water.  He wanted to "Rock a bye baby" so we rocked him (after begging him... "Porter... who do you want to Rock a bye baby with?  Mama?  Dada?" just to make sure we made him happy PFFTT!), I even laid with him in his little crib bed. Eventually we tried to get him to sleep in our bed (ok.. because he wanted to lay in dada's bed), and after a few more wakings I just went to bed with him in our bed.

Recap of our night "What's that, Porter?  You want me to fly to the moon and bring you back some moon rocks?  I'll get right on that, pronto. Anything for you, Sir!"

When he woke up this morning burning up and was lethargic and mopey, I called into work and got him into the doctors.  Turns out he has an ear infection.  Poor kid!  So, we spent part of our day laying around the house, part of it at Target picking up a few misc. things and another part driving all the way to Brooklyn to pick up his meds.  I went to pick up his prescrip. at the pharmacy down the road and she says "Oh, we had to order this.  It'll be in later this afternoon.  Come back after 4."  This is at 11am. I'm thinking.... my kid has an ear infection.  He feels like crap.  And you're telling me to just let him suffer for 5 more hours because you are to stupid to call it into another pharmacy?  So... I told her to call it in somewhere else and I'd drive to get it.  The closest place was 20 minutes away, so not that big of a deal. 

Anyhow, after a dose of his meds and some Motrin, he was acting much better this afternoon.  And he was doing ok before bed as well.  He did wake up with a stuffy nose and cough, but I'm hoping by morning he'll be much better and have been on meds for long enough that he'll be feeling more like himself.

So, that was our day.  Fun, huh?

And, I never posted these this weekend.  We carved pumpkins, and let me say I'm so glad I took pictures the day we carved them because our Mummy is looking... pretty...uh, mangled.  Its already wilting and drooping. My mom stopped by and said "What is THAT supposed to be?"  HAHA!

Before:

"This carving stuff is HARD WORK!"